Fill my cup and let it overflow....

Phew. I'm kinda weary.

There seems to be so much going on in the lives of people around me. I've been busy with stuff at church, but also busy with the Church. There's so many people that are hurting, struggling, dealing with things they shouldn't have to, and just in need of care.

My heart is heavy with the burdens of many. There are so many who need prayer and support. I love being able to be that.

However, I'm finding it to be true, that I, too, need to find a support system. It's even more important whilst I'm trying to minister to the hurting, to make sure that I'm being ministered to and filled up. It's so difficult though.

While Kevin was here, we talked quite a bit about setting boundaries as well as making more connections outside of the church community. Well, both of those things are contributing to the fatigue that I'm beginning to feel. I need to make sure I'm not taking on too much, but not just that, also making sure that I'm being filled up and supported.

It's shalom. Ever since I worked at a camp with that name, I've embraced the concept. When we think of the Hebrew word, shalom or peace, I think we often think of a lack of unrest. We think there is nothing wrong. But "shalom" takes it a step further. It also means wholeness. Not only is there an absence of all things that are wrong, hurtful, bad, and of the evil one, but it means that all is complete, filled, and satisfied. It means that all is "very good" and that life is "to the full." It's not those "eh" days where nothing is bad, but nothing is really that great either.

I'm praying for shalom. That being lonely, over committed, and stressed would cease to exist, while God would place encouraging friends in my life, time to be enjoyed, and joy in simply serving Him.

So I my plea is another Hebrew word. Hosanna.

Working Saturday

This week has flown by!

I wrote an entry last night that contained highlights from the week, but my computer decided to hate me and a lost it. I was too defeated to try again.

Today, however, I must catch up on some work that should've been done awhile ago and that I can have ready for Kevin to come tomorrow! I'm excited for him to visit and check out the church and everything! :)

Well, maybe if I get stuff done today, I'll redo my "recap of my week."

Wait a minute, Mr. Postman!

Have you ever wondered if sending a card really matters at all??

Like "who cares if I do or don't send cards to people"... I've often thought that myself. However, this week, I will tell you that I have been SOOO uplifted by simply receiving a card. This was no simple card, mind you. This card is about 18 inches high!!! I was just thrilled about receiving a delivery that had to be held in the leasing office. Then, I see it's a huge card and that made me smile a lot. It even made the girl in the office smile! :D

I got back to my apartment and began to open it. I thought it was just something that Matt had sent to give me a smile. WRONG!!! It was FILLED with messages and signatures from so many of my friends at Concordia!! I got a little teary-eyed as I began to read all of the messages of joy and love. :) I really miss all of those lovely people, but I was sooo incredibly blessed to receive that card from everyone. I was overwhelmed with love and care. :D

A huge reminder sent by God to tell me that I'm loved and regardless of what satan tries to tell me, I'm not alone. I have a family. They might not be blood related or people that I live with, but they are definitely family.

That card...it's going in my office. Matt asked me if it made my day. I responded, "no, it didn't." "It made my week, month, year, life!" :D

Seriously. Beaming.

"Jesus has overcome..and the grave is overwhelmed."

After a week that's been riddled with tricks from our enemy, a few really cool things come to mind this evening...

The first...something that happen a couple of weeks ago, that I've still just been relishing in. :) I was with our pastor's family for dinner and their little girl was acting out a bit. Pastor David said "It's too bad that you have to act like that when we have company." She replied, "Daddy, there's no company here." He said, "Yeah, because Miss Shelly is family, right?" And she yelled, "right!"

I melted. I obviously am still carrying that with me. Things like that get me through the days when it's hard to be all the way out here.

The second thing happened today.

So, I've been mentoring one of the youth here in leading a youth worship team. I had a meeting with him today and we were discussing our last rehearsal. I didn't sing with them this past week like I usually do because we have a limited amount of available mics. We were reflecting upon the past week and I asked him how that worked and if he wanted me to sing with them anymore. He asked me if was asking if he wanted me to sing with them or needed me too. I said it was all up to him. His response was, "I don't think we need you anymore." I was so proud and happy. I finally felt like I was fulfilling my role as an equipper (yeah..don't tell Derek and Marilyn..haha). Today, I was finally able to grasp what the whole equipping thing is all about. They're doing ministry...I get to walk along side them, but it's not me doing it for them. How awesome!

This week has been kinda overwhelming, but there have been some rewarding moments. The weather is starting to cool off again (hopefully it stays that way this time).

I got to talk to Katy, Andy, Tim Walsy, and more last night for several hours. An obscene amount of time, actually...but it was TOTALLY worth it. Especially amidst a semi stressful/busy week, it's good to be encouraged and grounded by my lovely friends.

I got to go hiking with Josiah on Monday. It was awesome being outside and just climbing, hiking around, and exploring this park. It's been awhile since I've have a purely social interaction, so it was awesome. While we hiking, we came upon this huge wall of rock. It was massive and both just stopped and looked at it. I thought of Psalm 18. It's been a passage that I've been reading repeatedly lately. One of my favorite names of God is Rock. Ask me why sometime..kind of a cool story. But I was so impacted by that.

I also get to sing this beautiful song this week by Chris Tomlin called I Will Rise. It's really been speaking to my heart. My favorite line of it is "the grave is overwhelmed." Isn't that amazing?!? Like, those words just resound. Jesus overwhelms the grave...and not just His, ours too.

In the meantime, I have TONS of things to do. God is faithful. His Word is life and prayer is the blanket of peace that He continues to wrap me in.

I'm full. More like stuffed.

This week has been full. That's the best way to describe it.

I had meetings/activities every night.
The kids are back in school, so I had music classes to teach again.
(And a looming Christmas program that I need to start planning...)
My favorite coffee shop/hang out place closed.
There are some new challenges that I'm trying to work through in my job.
We had a retreat/lock-in for the confirmation kids.
I've been emotionally and socially all over the map.
I was vulnerable in front of new people. :S
My tire got dominated by some punk.
I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring.

I'm tired.

It's hard to be alone and satan totally manipulates that and intensifies that message. God promises, though, that [He] will be with you; [He] will never leave you nor forsake you (Joshua 1:5). Hundreds of times throughout Scripture, God reassures us that He is with us until the very end of the age (Matthew 28:20). He promises to never leave.

Sometimes it's really hard for me to believe that because I don't feel it. So I just have to keep reminding myself of what I know to be true about who God is until I do believe it in my heart.

i am a rollercoaster.......sometimes.....sometimes not

The weekend was amazing. Probably my best weekend here yet.

Friday was spent running errands, spending time with Cher, and dinner with the Brinkmans.

I will admit there was a moment of crabbiness in there when I locked my keys in my car before dinner. AAA came to my rescue. It was good to be around people.

Saturday was going to see Josiah in Cinderella. It was really fun. :) The afternoon was spent at an amazing BBQ place that must be revisited at some point, followed by ice cream and random fun adventures while walking through a Big Lots with Si. It was just nice to not have a schedule, be random, and not really care about anything. It was a really great day. I headed back home and ended up spending a good part of the evening running around with Cher.

Sunday came early as always. I played a song on the guitar during worship! That's a big step for me...and I think it actually went pretty well. I had things planned already for Sunday evening, so I spent the afternoon enjoying the fall weather and sitting at CUPZ. The evening was really fun. The youth worship team is doing really well, confirmation was a lot of fun, and youth group was random, but cool. :)

Yesterday, I felt so good about everything. I got so much accomplished in that day and I felt so productive.

I got up this morning and walked to work. I decided it'd be a great practice and I could pray as I walked. So as I went along, my heart just spoke "God, use me today. Just give me opportunities to be used and help me to accept them." I was just praying that over and over. This woman pulls up alongside me in a van. She yells out the window, "are you going to Risen Savior?" I didn't hear her. I assumed she was lost and needed directions. "Are you going to Risen Savior??" I replied, "yes." She offered me a ride, but I told her I was enjoying my morning stroll with such a beautiful day unfolding. She said okay and went on. Before I knew what had just happened, I realized that God had immediately given me an opportunity. I didn't take it. I was so sad and apologized to him for not taking an opportunity to get to know a mother from the school. As I walked, there's a section with no side walk (which also happens to contain lots of stickers). I was wearing flip flops and they were COVERED in stickers. I was in pain, so once through that little area, I had to stop and pick some of the deep ones out. I just realized though how faithful God is in providing for us. He wants to protect us and gives us opportunities. Most of the time we're oblivious or think our agenda is better. Wow. What a blatant lesson this morning. I put my agenda in front of people and it's a sticky place to be. Literally.

But really..

Today what I feel is lonely. Days like that are hard. I find myself rambling to people that I see, just because I so desperately want to talk with them and maybe be heard for a few moments.

I know God is working on me. It's just hard when it feels like it's just me out here without my normal encouragement, support, and friendship.

Please forgive excessive IM'ing, Facebooking, tweets, texts, and messages of all kinds. I don't mean to annoy, I'm just thirsty for connection with friends. Grant me grace.

the throat is icky. there's no Panera anywhere.

I really hope I don't have strep throat.

I'm the only vocalist for one of the Sunday services and as of this moment, we still don't have a guitar player. Hmm..

God. Today (and through Sunday) I need to You to be mighty to save (b/c You are) and faithful (just like every other day).

People at church said they could tell I wasn't feeling well. I think this is because my face is pale (more pale than normal...wow) and I'm not humming/singing all the time (yah, that's painful at this point in time).

I think I'm going to go check on the kitties that I'm sitting for and sit with them for awhile and then go to this young adult worship dealy. Don't worry...I won't be singing along.

Ya know..I led Fish last year with strep throat. I can sing through most things...but a guitar player. That'd be good.

I thought I'd find a Panera today for lunch and get some soup. I thought it'd do me well. Turns out...not a SINGLE Panera in the state of Arizona!?! How unfortunate. I shall take part in Panera in January in MN. Hopefully I'm better before then, though. ;)