As I sit in my apartment watching videos of acapella groups (4th gear) on youtube my mind continues to mill and mill.
A few things:
1. There aren't many acapella groups with girls, but I'd love to be in one.
2. I can't wait to be in a band. I honestly love that I get to sing everyday. I can't tell you how much.
3. I never imagined how difficult this time of internship would be to be away from friends.
4. I'm meeting the other area DCE's tomorrow and I'm utterly stoked. Like, probably to a ridiculous level...but I don't care. I'm especially excited about meeting fellow interns--ecstatic!
5. I should give myself a bed time because I've been staying up way too late just dinking around on the internet lately. I'm okay with it when I'm talking to people online, but that's not what's kept me up the last few nights.
6. Do you think overdue movie rentals are a sin? If so, I'm currently living in sin. I'm repenting/correcting my sin tomorrow though.
7. What is my purpose here? Why does God have me in this place at this time?
Tonight in church council Bible study (I'm utterly amazed that the church council has a Bible study, by the way) we watched the Nooma video, Sunday. It talks all about rituals and going to church because it's a habit and doing all of these things in order to see and be seen. It turns into a way to make ourselves look good instead of a true act of passion and love for our God. Rob Bell talked about how God doesn't want these empty works. He wants our hearts.
This is going to sound weird, I'm sure, but the thing is...I think that's almost more difficult to me. I mean, ask me to do something and I'll do it and to my best ability. You want to love me and show me how you love me? Yikes. That scares me. You just want me to simply love you and allow myself to be known? That's something I don't do well at all. But that's what You want.
I think back on my day to day life. I measure the day by how many checks are marked on my "to do" list or how empty my assignment white board is. I measure my life in the "business" side of things. I remember back to a class last year when we talked about programming vs. relationship building. Being a DCE is about relationship building, not how many programs you can pull off. Sometimes they're necessary to build the relationships...but not the important things themselves. So I think about my day. How many people did I connect with today? How many people did I stop to say "hi" to and see how they were doing? Who did I serve today? I'm worried about the "business" of my day...but guess what? I work for God's church and He's in the business of people! :) Don't just go to church, BE the church.
Just something to think about...
In the mean time, I need to tend to the business of returning/repenting for my overdue movies.
1 comment:
Dear Beautiful Intern, I do not believe that late movies are a sin. I also believe you would be a wonderful contribution to a female acapella group and cannot wait to hear how the band you want to form turns out next year. You are an amazing child of God, and I believe that He has given you the strength, wisdom, and heart to BE exactly what many people are praying for; a friend, a listener, and a visual representation of Christ. Always praying for you and thinking of you. Much love my dear. ~Nikki
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