Wait a minute, Mr. Postman!

Have you ever wondered if sending a card really matters at all??

Like "who cares if I do or don't send cards to people"... I've often thought that myself. However, this week, I will tell you that I have been SOOO uplifted by simply receiving a card. This was no simple card, mind you. This card is about 18 inches high!!! I was just thrilled about receiving a delivery that had to be held in the leasing office. Then, I see it's a huge card and that made me smile a lot. It even made the girl in the office smile! :D

I got back to my apartment and began to open it. I thought it was just something that Matt had sent to give me a smile. WRONG!!! It was FILLED with messages and signatures from so many of my friends at Concordia!! I got a little teary-eyed as I began to read all of the messages of joy and love. :) I really miss all of those lovely people, but I was sooo incredibly blessed to receive that card from everyone. I was overwhelmed with love and care. :D

A huge reminder sent by God to tell me that I'm loved and regardless of what satan tries to tell me, I'm not alone. I have a family. They might not be blood related or people that I live with, but they are definitely family.

That card...it's going in my office. Matt asked me if it made my day. I responded, "no, it didn't." "It made my week, month, year, life!" :D

Seriously. Beaming.

"Jesus has overcome..and the grave is overwhelmed."

After a week that's been riddled with tricks from our enemy, a few really cool things come to mind this evening...

The first...something that happen a couple of weeks ago, that I've still just been relishing in. :) I was with our pastor's family for dinner and their little girl was acting out a bit. Pastor David said "It's too bad that you have to act like that when we have company." She replied, "Daddy, there's no company here." He said, "Yeah, because Miss Shelly is family, right?" And she yelled, "right!"

I melted. I obviously am still carrying that with me. Things like that get me through the days when it's hard to be all the way out here.

The second thing happened today.

So, I've been mentoring one of the youth here in leading a youth worship team. I had a meeting with him today and we were discussing our last rehearsal. I didn't sing with them this past week like I usually do because we have a limited amount of available mics. We were reflecting upon the past week and I asked him how that worked and if he wanted me to sing with them anymore. He asked me if was asking if he wanted me to sing with them or needed me too. I said it was all up to him. His response was, "I don't think we need you anymore." I was so proud and happy. I finally felt like I was fulfilling my role as an equipper (yeah..don't tell Derek and Marilyn..haha). Today, I was finally able to grasp what the whole equipping thing is all about. They're doing ministry...I get to walk along side them, but it's not me doing it for them. How awesome!

This week has been kinda overwhelming, but there have been some rewarding moments. The weather is starting to cool off again (hopefully it stays that way this time).

I got to talk to Katy, Andy, Tim Walsy, and more last night for several hours. An obscene amount of time, actually...but it was TOTALLY worth it. Especially amidst a semi stressful/busy week, it's good to be encouraged and grounded by my lovely friends.

I got to go hiking with Josiah on Monday. It was awesome being outside and just climbing, hiking around, and exploring this park. It's been awhile since I've have a purely social interaction, so it was awesome. While we hiking, we came upon this huge wall of rock. It was massive and both just stopped and looked at it. I thought of Psalm 18. It's been a passage that I've been reading repeatedly lately. One of my favorite names of God is Rock. Ask me why sometime..kind of a cool story. But I was so impacted by that.

I also get to sing this beautiful song this week by Chris Tomlin called I Will Rise. It's really been speaking to my heart. My favorite line of it is "the grave is overwhelmed." Isn't that amazing?!? Like, those words just resound. Jesus overwhelms the grave...and not just His, ours too.

In the meantime, I have TONS of things to do. God is faithful. His Word is life and prayer is the blanket of peace that He continues to wrap me in.

I'm full. More like stuffed.

This week has been full. That's the best way to describe it.

I had meetings/activities every night.
The kids are back in school, so I had music classes to teach again.
(And a looming Christmas program that I need to start planning...)
My favorite coffee shop/hang out place closed.
There are some new challenges that I'm trying to work through in my job.
We had a retreat/lock-in for the confirmation kids.
I've been emotionally and socially all over the map.
I was vulnerable in front of new people. :S
My tire got dominated by some punk.
I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring.

I'm tired.

It's hard to be alone and satan totally manipulates that and intensifies that message. God promises, though, that [He] will be with you; [He] will never leave you nor forsake you (Joshua 1:5). Hundreds of times throughout Scripture, God reassures us that He is with us until the very end of the age (Matthew 28:20). He promises to never leave.

Sometimes it's really hard for me to believe that because I don't feel it. So I just have to keep reminding myself of what I know to be true about who God is until I do believe it in my heart.

i am a rollercoaster.......sometimes.....sometimes not

The weekend was amazing. Probably my best weekend here yet.

Friday was spent running errands, spending time with Cher, and dinner with the Brinkmans.

I will admit there was a moment of crabbiness in there when I locked my keys in my car before dinner. AAA came to my rescue. It was good to be around people.

Saturday was going to see Josiah in Cinderella. It was really fun. :) The afternoon was spent at an amazing BBQ place that must be revisited at some point, followed by ice cream and random fun adventures while walking through a Big Lots with Si. It was just nice to not have a schedule, be random, and not really care about anything. It was a really great day. I headed back home and ended up spending a good part of the evening running around with Cher.

Sunday came early as always. I played a song on the guitar during worship! That's a big step for me...and I think it actually went pretty well. I had things planned already for Sunday evening, so I spent the afternoon enjoying the fall weather and sitting at CUPZ. The evening was really fun. The youth worship team is doing really well, confirmation was a lot of fun, and youth group was random, but cool. :)

Yesterday, I felt so good about everything. I got so much accomplished in that day and I felt so productive.

I got up this morning and walked to work. I decided it'd be a great practice and I could pray as I walked. So as I went along, my heart just spoke "God, use me today. Just give me opportunities to be used and help me to accept them." I was just praying that over and over. This woman pulls up alongside me in a van. She yells out the window, "are you going to Risen Savior?" I didn't hear her. I assumed she was lost and needed directions. "Are you going to Risen Savior??" I replied, "yes." She offered me a ride, but I told her I was enjoying my morning stroll with such a beautiful day unfolding. She said okay and went on. Before I knew what had just happened, I realized that God had immediately given me an opportunity. I didn't take it. I was so sad and apologized to him for not taking an opportunity to get to know a mother from the school. As I walked, there's a section with no side walk (which also happens to contain lots of stickers). I was wearing flip flops and they were COVERED in stickers. I was in pain, so once through that little area, I had to stop and pick some of the deep ones out. I just realized though how faithful God is in providing for us. He wants to protect us and gives us opportunities. Most of the time we're oblivious or think our agenda is better. Wow. What a blatant lesson this morning. I put my agenda in front of people and it's a sticky place to be. Literally.

But really..

Today what I feel is lonely. Days like that are hard. I find myself rambling to people that I see, just because I so desperately want to talk with them and maybe be heard for a few moments.

I know God is working on me. It's just hard when it feels like it's just me out here without my normal encouragement, support, and friendship.

Please forgive excessive IM'ing, Facebooking, tweets, texts, and messages of all kinds. I don't mean to annoy, I'm just thirsty for connection with friends. Grant me grace.

the throat is icky. there's no Panera anywhere.

I really hope I don't have strep throat.

I'm the only vocalist for one of the Sunday services and as of this moment, we still don't have a guitar player. Hmm..

God. Today (and through Sunday) I need to You to be mighty to save (b/c You are) and faithful (just like every other day).

People at church said they could tell I wasn't feeling well. I think this is because my face is pale (more pale than normal...wow) and I'm not humming/singing all the time (yah, that's painful at this point in time).

I think I'm going to go check on the kitties that I'm sitting for and sit with them for awhile and then go to this young adult worship dealy. Don't worry...I won't be singing along.

Ya know..I led Fish last year with strep throat. I can sing through most things...but a guitar player. That'd be good.

I thought I'd find a Panera today for lunch and get some soup. I thought it'd do me well. Turns out...not a SINGLE Panera in the state of Arizona!?! How unfortunate. I shall take part in Panera in January in MN. Hopefully I'm better before then, though. ;)

the boat is small. water is rising around my feet.

I had kind of a "meh" day.

I just watched the presidential debate and that only added to my "blech"ness.

Our country needs prayer for our future leader. Neither candidate impressed me even slightly. I was quite disappointed in both of them.

My parents are picking up my sister on Friday!!!!!! :D Then my other sister is moving on Saturday (even though she's on crutches after having surgery on both knees last week). Then Sunday, is my little cousin's 4th birthday. It sounds like a busy weekend...but I'd like to be with my family. Starting Friday, I'll be the only one missing again. :(

I just really wish my friends were here right now. :( Iwishiwishiwish. I know it's such a long way from school, but it's too bad that people can visit for fall break. It's strange hearing about it, but not having it. I get teary-eyed thinking about people visiting. I just want my friends to be here so badly.

This is not a very happy post. Sorry.

This week's worship services is shaped around Jesus calming the storm. There's a great song that I have from team that I'm going to be playing as special music and it totally describes my feeling today.

When everything is wrong,
The day has passed and nothing's done.
And the whole world seems against me.
When I'm rolling in my bed,
There's a storm in my head.
I'm afraid of sinking in despair.
...
You rebuked the wind and the waves.
Once again I find I'm amazed,
At the power of Your will.
'Cause I'm a child of little faith.
I feel the wind and forget Your grace.
And You say, "Peace. Be still."
...
There on the storm I am learning to let go,
The white wave's high.
It's crashing o'er the deck
And I don't know where I go.
Where are you, Lord?
Is this ship going down?
The mast is gone, so throw the anchor.
Should I jump and try to swim for land?
...
There on the storm teach me God to understand,
Your will that I just cannot control.
There may I see all Your love protecting me.
I thank You, Lord,
You are the Calmer of the storm.

Now back to some more network TV and early bedtime.

His Word speaks, Music speaks, and maybe someday, in some way, I will too..

So I went to this young adult worship thing that I go to sometimes. Tonight was different, though, on a few different levels.

First of all, Christian artist, JJ Heller, was there to lead worship and do a couple of sets of her stuff. It was soo good. Like, I'm telling you...she was SO great. She has a folky sound and her and her husband just sounded so lovely together. PLEASE check it out.

(Click the graphic to download a FREE copy of her newest album. It's really great. :) )

I was blessed by JJ and her husband's music for a few different reasons.
-They were great with a sound that is unique to the Christian scene.
-It's just her and her husband up there singing and playing. Throughout the sets they joke with each other, glance at each other, and love playing music together. Her husband was saying just how truly blessed they are that they get to travel together and be in ministry together. That's so awesome to me.
-I want to do what they're doing. Yup. :)

On another note, there's this guy, Chris, that usually speaks every week. Well, he did again tonight and usually I'm into it, but tonight I really wasn't to be honest. He directed us to a place in the Bible and from there, I was completely absorbed in God's Word. I know this isn't a bad thing. :) I'm sure, however, that God had some good things to say through Chris tonight, but instead He decided to point me into the Word a bit more.

A few things caught my eye:
-the story of David and Mephibosheth. Read it. It's absolutely amazing...one of David's lesser proclaimed, but absolutely lovely moments. It's a beautiful story about grace and mercy that David pours out and welcomes Mephibosheth to his table. We see such a reflection of who God is for us in this story. He carries us to His table..dirty and unworthy, but couldn't be more welcome.
-1 Peter 3:4-6 also spoke to me. Peter writes to the women in these churches:
Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.

I've been really struggling with shopping all of the time. I don't have much else to do and I'm getting all into the "image" that I portray and so on. 'I "need" these jeans,' 'I would look much cooler with this necklace,' 'I need a hair style that looks more like a musician.' Wow. This passage jumped out at me and spoke truth about all three of those things.

Then JJ sang this song called "True Things." It's all about how we are not what we wear, what we look like, what we do, etc...but we are filled with true things because God says we are. We are worthy of love because God loves us.

It was a really great evening of worship and hearing God's truth spoken to me. I can't tell you how good it is to go to a worship and not lead it.

I had an overall great day--God revealed a lot to me today...more than I can say in one entry. Spiritual gifts, mission work, scary (but exciting) realities, music, and seeing how God moves. Wow. I hope that one day we can meet for coffee and you can tell me your story...and maybe I'll tell you a few of my own. :)

"So no one told you life was gonna be this way...but I'll be there for you 'cause you're there for me too.."

Skype is amazing! Since downloading this awesome webcam program, I've got to have several conversations with people across the country. It's kinda strange, but sooo awesome. I actually feel like I'm hanging out with people and I got to talk to the other interns, attend small group, take a tour of the RLC, and go to Fish. Weird, I know...but I'm not kidding. It's really made me feel a lot better. It's been more evident to me this year than ever before that community is so important. Friends are so important. Having a support system, people to unwind and destress with, people to listen when things are wrong and laugh because you can, people that you just know are going to love you.

"Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:

There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
"For whom am I toiling," he asked,
"and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"
This too is meaningless—
a miserable business!
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:7-12

Even if it's just via the internet, I'm still soo blessed by my friends. It's not a situation that I'd want to be in for too long, but for this year, I am being reminded that friends are not something to be taken for granted. They are such a huge blessing from God. Who are the people in your life that are important to you? Have you spent time with them lately? Have you told them why they're important to you? It's not a bad idea...let them know that you appreciate and love them. :)

As I laughed with Josiah this evening and then with Bri until tears were rolling down my face, I realized...it doesn't get much better than this.