For the first time in a long time, I look around and see just how good life is.
I have a job that I love (after the first few weeks of starting) and allows me to also have time that is not filled with work or homework. I have a place to live. I have wonderful friends to spend time with, go on adventures with, and share life with. The sun is out and I am soaking it up!
As I look back on my time in college, especially the last year, it is difficult to believe that it is over. I loved college soo much and I guess maybe that's why I'm so excited to continue by walking alongside college students in their lives and spiritual journeys. It's just such a unique time of your life where there is freedom, chaos, exploring new things, and sharing every area of your life with the people around you. You are challenged intellectually, socially, spiritually, and probably any other -ly you could think of. Mmm..college...I think I was made for an experience like this.
All that being said, I'm so relieved to be done. Maybe that doesn't really make sense..but as I look back on college fondly, I see a lot of things that I hope to overcome as well. Because I love people so much, I became dependent on the people around me to feel whole. I couldn't say "no" to any outing, often overbooked myself, and had to call someone anytime I was bored or by myself. This was something that I overcame on internship because I had to, but fell way too easily back into that pattern when I returned to classes last year. Relationships became something that my life revolved around and while Christ calls us to be in community, it is not meant to be a replacement for a relationship that makes Him the center. Additionally, I look back and see something that terrifies me. In college, I was an overcommitted, over scheduled, stressed overachiever with too much to do, too many places to go, and too many people to please. By the end of this past school year, I was spent and unsure if I could jump into what the future held. I was stressed, often short with people when deadlines and activities approached, and had no time to be present with people. It was an unfortunate way to spend such a wonderful time in my life and my hope is that I learned enough from it never to do that again. Right before graduating, I began to feel physical effects of my stress and knew that something had to change. I'm grateful for the experience, grateful that I could see and learn from that experience, and grateful for an opportunity to move forward and do things differently.
That's the thing about moving forward, ya know? You have to keep doing it...life goes on and so shall we. But our moving forward becomes all the more meaningful when we can glance backward and see how far we've come and what we've learned for the next leg of our journey. The thing about moving forward is that it's good to look backward from time to time and thank the Lord that He didn't leave you stuck a few steps ago.
I am able to look back and see how much I have already grown since graduation. I have been adjusting to living by myself as well as still spending time with friends. I am not stressed, but feel productive. I am not overbooked, but am out living life! Amazingly enough, the "freedom" that people have talked about having in college has been found in me only after I've graduated.
This past week in a devotion we read about the children of Israel passing into the Promised Land by way of crossing the Jordan. The Lord parted the waters so that they could walk through and told them to take stones from the dry river bed and build an altar of remembrance so they would not forget how far God had brought them and how faithful He is. That's our challenge. Look around...look back at yesterday...see what God is doing, what He's brought you through and proclaim His goodness!
He said to the Israelites, "In the future when your descendants ask their fathers, 'What do these stones mean?' 22 tell them, 'Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.' 23 For the LORD your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The LORD your God did to the Jordan just what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. 24 He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God." Joshua 4:21-24
For centuries, the Israelites have claimed the pilgrimage of their people. Even now, if you would ask a Jew about who crossed the Red Sea and was freed from slavery in Egypt, they would boldly respond, "we did." We remember and participate in how God saw His people through generation after generation and become a testament to His provision. Sovereign and Faithful is His Name. And then we rejoice! Rejoice in the Promise Land of salvation that is right now and that is to come! Because the thing is, as I was so strongly reminded today, death is not the end of our moving forward. It's the beginning. Shadows loom over our journey, but the truth is this:
"Jesus has overcome and the grave is overwhelmed. The victory is won. He has risen from the dead and I will rise when He calls my name."
So with that joy and expectation, I move forward.
No comments:
Post a Comment