Well, I'm really liking the things of internship. My job is great, the church is great, people are great as well.
I think, however, it's taking me a bit to get used to being away from college and all that it entails. There are two main things that I'm really missing right now.
The first is my friends. There's not really people my age around here and I don't really have friends nearby. There are some great families that I love spending time with and some people I'm really enjoying getting to know, but none of them are really my age. It's an interesting transition after being so social in the college world.
The second is spontaneity. I have a pretty normative routine here. I like routines because they're easy to remember, I know what I have to do and get done, and I can have a plan and be prepared. However, I miss spontaneous trips to the river or the falls, late nights at Perkins, impromptu conversations in the CMC, and the "it's whatever" attitude of my college life. Here, everything seems so structured and I don't have anyone to be random with. :S It's something that I'm going to have to figure out how to circumvent.
I found a verse today though that gave me encouragement for living in the here and now. Sometimes it's going to be difficult on this internship journey, but I want to be sure that I'm living life to the full and being present in this time and place. The verse that's speaking to me right now was actually apart of a song that we were practicing at praise team tonight.
Psalm 118:24
"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
I pray that no matter what may be going on and no matter how "blah" I feel--I will be reminded of this verse and the blessing that today is. It's not something to be wasted, but lived. What ever it means in your life, I hope you're living and not just being alive. Be glad in the day that God has given us! :)
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Temptation of Suffocation
Last year, I had a wonderful experience with the spiritual discipline of Sabbath. Now, at this time last year, I probably couldn't really tell you what it meant to practice Sabbath in my life and might've even told you it was not important or irrelevant. I may have told you that it gets taken care of when we go to church. I learned a lot about Sabbath within the past year and most of my initial thoughts weren't exactly on track.
The 3rd commandment (in the Lutheran numbering) is "Remember the Sabbath by keeping it holy." This commandment wasn't just some rule for the Israelites to follow, but it was command God put in place so that He would have time with His children. And ya know what? He still wants to spend time with them! That fact has not changed a bit!
Okay, so take a look at your week. If your family and friends were asked if they could tell what day was set aside to spend time with your God and take a break, would they be able to? I know that just a few months ago I would say "no" with gusto. Even when I was at worship, I was "working." My friends rarely saw me and I was staying up late and getting up early to get things done. And ya know what? It was awful.
When I started internship, I told myself that I needed to have a Sabbath day that was protected. I needed to do my best to protect that day from any sort of work, meetings, planning, and anything that wasn't something I "had" to do. I could run errands on my Sabbath because I enjoy doing that--it's fun to me! I could sit by the pool, hang out with friends, be in God's Word, or sleep in without feeling guilty at all. This is what my Sabbath has been. It's tough and takes planning ahead and diligence, but it's important for my mental, social, and spiritual health. Not to mention, if I don't rest, I will get burned out.
So today, we were looking at schedules to plan a meeting. Friday was suggested, but I actually spoke up to protect it. I was surprised at myself, but I've seen what good has come out of keeping my Sabbath holy. That Sabbath mentality carries through the rest of the week and I'm more focused and at peace. One of the other people at the meeting mentioned that they don't have a day of rest and one of their days off (Sunday) is spent at church, teaching. The conversation continued in that direction and I began to feel guilty about my "untouchable" day. I almost said, "it's okay, let's do Friday." Then I remembered all that I had experienced in learning about Sabbath throughout the last year. I nearly suffocated in business and life--I honestly was so unhealthy that it was getting out of control. I still get tempted, however, to be so incredibly and irresponsibly busy. I need down time--time to enjoy life and enjoy God. It's so easy for me to feel guilty about not doing enough as I see others be soo busy, but I had to remind myself that, that's what I've worked so hard to get out of. It is my job as a church professional to set an example of Christian living and to show people what it means to practice wellness. Even my pastor reminded me of that last week when I was about to run to church for a quick church task last Friday. He stopped me and told me to let it be--it wasn't that important to interrupt God's day.
Sabbath rest is a beautiful thing--it's something I want to maintain and has taken me a long time to adopt. I can tell you, though, I honestly couldn't do ministry and wouldn't want to do ministry without Sabbath rest.
I challenge you...take the break that God has blessed you with in His 3rd commandment. See if your family can recognize your Sabbath day--spend it with them. I pray that you dive deep into this practice and are richly blessed by it.
The 3rd commandment (in the Lutheran numbering) is "Remember the Sabbath by keeping it holy." This commandment wasn't just some rule for the Israelites to follow, but it was command God put in place so that He would have time with His children. And ya know what? He still wants to spend time with them! That fact has not changed a bit!
Okay, so take a look at your week. If your family and friends were asked if they could tell what day was set aside to spend time with your God and take a break, would they be able to? I know that just a few months ago I would say "no" with gusto. Even when I was at worship, I was "working." My friends rarely saw me and I was staying up late and getting up early to get things done. And ya know what? It was awful.
When I started internship, I told myself that I needed to have a Sabbath day that was protected. I needed to do my best to protect that day from any sort of work, meetings, planning, and anything that wasn't something I "had" to do. I could run errands on my Sabbath because I enjoy doing that--it's fun to me! I could sit by the pool, hang out with friends, be in God's Word, or sleep in without feeling guilty at all. This is what my Sabbath has been. It's tough and takes planning ahead and diligence, but it's important for my mental, social, and spiritual health. Not to mention, if I don't rest, I will get burned out.
So today, we were looking at schedules to plan a meeting. Friday was suggested, but I actually spoke up to protect it. I was surprised at myself, but I've seen what good has come out of keeping my Sabbath holy. That Sabbath mentality carries through the rest of the week and I'm more focused and at peace. One of the other people at the meeting mentioned that they don't have a day of rest and one of their days off (Sunday) is spent at church, teaching. The conversation continued in that direction and I began to feel guilty about my "untouchable" day. I almost said, "it's okay, let's do Friday." Then I remembered all that I had experienced in learning about Sabbath throughout the last year. I nearly suffocated in business and life--I honestly was so unhealthy that it was getting out of control. I still get tempted, however, to be so incredibly and irresponsibly busy. I need down time--time to enjoy life and enjoy God. It's so easy for me to feel guilty about not doing enough as I see others be soo busy, but I had to remind myself that, that's what I've worked so hard to get out of. It is my job as a church professional to set an example of Christian living and to show people what it means to practice wellness. Even my pastor reminded me of that last week when I was about to run to church for a quick church task last Friday. He stopped me and told me to let it be--it wasn't that important to interrupt God's day.
Sabbath rest is a beautiful thing--it's something I want to maintain and has taken me a long time to adopt. I can tell you, though, I honestly couldn't do ministry and wouldn't want to do ministry without Sabbath rest.
I challenge you...take the break that God has blessed you with in His 3rd commandment. See if your family can recognize your Sabbath day--spend it with them. I pray that you dive deep into this practice and are richly blessed by it.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Prayer...Does it really change anything?
Prayer. It's something that I just plain don't get. Now bear with me for a moment. I'll explain.
Earlier this year, I wrote about a book that we read in class called "The Celebration of Discipline." It was a challenging book in many ways with lots of good things to say, but I was frustrated by the chapter on prayer. It really broke open the topic of prayer in my mind and really, I just came up with all of these questions that I couldn't answer and it seemed that everyone around me had made peace with. Ugh...it just left me stuck.
I know that God's Word tells us to "pray continually" and that Jesus even prayed to His Father. God promises to listen to our prayers. Jesus even taught us how to pray. Paul's letters are filled with mentions of his prayers for people in churches all over. Moses called down God's power in prayer. We see how God responds to the prayers of His people over and over.
I don't get it.
Let's start with what prayer is not.
1. The point of prayer isn't to control God. He's not our vending machine or our butler. Prayer isn't our hotline to get whatever we want.
2. Prayer doesn't change who God is. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
3. Prayer isn't the formula to make God work; He works without our prayers. In Luther's Small Catechism it says, "certainly God's Kingdom comes with our prayers, but we pray in this petition that it might come to us also." So, God's still going to work in us and for us even if we don't ask for it.
In "Celebration of Discipline," however, it talks about how we shouldn't pray "if it be Your will" when we pray for things because we need to pray boldly with faith; knowing that God will grant our request. What about when we pray with confidence and what we pray for doesn't happen? What then? Okay, so the book suggests as we draw near to the heart of God, we grow closer to what His will is and can pray more and more boldy because our will lines up with His. My question would be, "why pray, then?" If it's going to come to pass anyway? Well, often when we pray, it brings us peace and an calming connection with our Father. Prayer isn't meant to change God, but our conversations with Him often change us. He commands us to pray...it's talking to our Daddy about our day. :) (But I'm still not going to pretend like I get it.)
Another question about prayer...what is intercessory prayer all about? I don't get that either. I've got to the point where I understand how prayer changes me, but when I'm praying for others, what does that do? If I'm not trying to change God and I know that His will is good and gracious, then why pray for people and situations? I just don't understand how it works. This became more and more sensitive to me as I grew closer to situations that desperately need prayer and people who really need protection. What does prayer do for them? Honestly, I have no idea.
I just got to a point where prayer seemed superfluous and something everyone did to make themselves look good. I wanted to want to pray...but I just felt like it didn't matter and it just made me more frustrated the more I thought about it. Wow, satan sure pulled one on me.
I do know one thing, however, since I have been on internship, I have seen God answer prayer in SO MANY huge ways. I can't tell you how many times within the last month that HUGE prayers have been answered. For example, the school wanted to serve hot lunch during the day but didn't have a commercial license for the kitchen. They were going to cater meals, but the inspector came in and said the kitchen was fine for commercial use. The next morning a woman randomly called the school saying that she had to be the school chef. Air conditioner problems that were supposed to take weeks to fix took only a few hours. At 10pm on the night before worship, God provided a guitar player to lead the praise team. After losing our music teacher, God laid it on my heart to fill the role and the next morning a mother came in and said she'd like to help with the music program! Things like this happen at Risen Savior all of the time! I can't get over it! God is teaching me so much...just over and over again He is teaching me that He is faithful. He whispers it to me through others, shows it to me throughout my day, and reads it to me in His Word.
God shows that He is faithful and He is always hanging on to me, even when I let go to cover my eyes at what is to come. Prayer is a vessel of His peace that passes all of our understand. Peace isn't the only thing that passes my understanding though...prayer in general is a mystery to me. I do know, however, that no matter how "faithful in prayer" I might be (or might not be), God is faithful. One of my favorite verses is from Hebrews 10:23:
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
Always..with or without our prayers...He is faithful.
Earlier this year, I wrote about a book that we read in class called "The Celebration of Discipline." It was a challenging book in many ways with lots of good things to say, but I was frustrated by the chapter on prayer. It really broke open the topic of prayer in my mind and really, I just came up with all of these questions that I couldn't answer and it seemed that everyone around me had made peace with. Ugh...it just left me stuck.
I know that God's Word tells us to "pray continually" and that Jesus even prayed to His Father. God promises to listen to our prayers. Jesus even taught us how to pray. Paul's letters are filled with mentions of his prayers for people in churches all over. Moses called down God's power in prayer. We see how God responds to the prayers of His people over and over.
I don't get it.
Let's start with what prayer is not.
1. The point of prayer isn't to control God. He's not our vending machine or our butler. Prayer isn't our hotline to get whatever we want.
2. Prayer doesn't change who God is. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
3. Prayer isn't the formula to make God work; He works without our prayers. In Luther's Small Catechism it says, "certainly God's Kingdom comes with our prayers, but we pray in this petition that it might come to us also." So, God's still going to work in us and for us even if we don't ask for it.
In "Celebration of Discipline," however, it talks about how we shouldn't pray "if it be Your will" when we pray for things because we need to pray boldly with faith; knowing that God will grant our request. What about when we pray with confidence and what we pray for doesn't happen? What then? Okay, so the book suggests as we draw near to the heart of God, we grow closer to what His will is and can pray more and more boldy because our will lines up with His. My question would be, "why pray, then?" If it's going to come to pass anyway? Well, often when we pray, it brings us peace and an calming connection with our Father. Prayer isn't meant to change God, but our conversations with Him often change us. He commands us to pray...it's talking to our Daddy about our day. :) (But I'm still not going to pretend like I get it.)
Another question about prayer...what is intercessory prayer all about? I don't get that either. I've got to the point where I understand how prayer changes me, but when I'm praying for others, what does that do? If I'm not trying to change God and I know that His will is good and gracious, then why pray for people and situations? I just don't understand how it works. This became more and more sensitive to me as I grew closer to situations that desperately need prayer and people who really need protection. What does prayer do for them? Honestly, I have no idea.
I just got to a point where prayer seemed superfluous and something everyone did to make themselves look good. I wanted to want to pray...but I just felt like it didn't matter and it just made me more frustrated the more I thought about it. Wow, satan sure pulled one on me.
I do know one thing, however, since I have been on internship, I have seen God answer prayer in SO MANY huge ways. I can't tell you how many times within the last month that HUGE prayers have been answered. For example, the school wanted to serve hot lunch during the day but didn't have a commercial license for the kitchen. They were going to cater meals, but the inspector came in and said the kitchen was fine for commercial use. The next morning a woman randomly called the school saying that she had to be the school chef. Air conditioner problems that were supposed to take weeks to fix took only a few hours. At 10pm on the night before worship, God provided a guitar player to lead the praise team. After losing our music teacher, God laid it on my heart to fill the role and the next morning a mother came in and said she'd like to help with the music program! Things like this happen at Risen Savior all of the time! I can't get over it! God is teaching me so much...just over and over again He is teaching me that He is faithful. He whispers it to me through others, shows it to me throughout my day, and reads it to me in His Word.
God shows that He is faithful and He is always hanging on to me, even when I let go to cover my eyes at what is to come. Prayer is a vessel of His peace that passes all of our understand. Peace isn't the only thing that passes my understanding though...prayer in general is a mystery to me. I do know, however, that no matter how "faithful in prayer" I might be (or might not be), God is faithful. One of my favorite verses is from Hebrews 10:23:
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
Always..with or without our prayers...He is faithful.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Welcome to the Desert!
This is from an email I wrote on 7/27; I'll update again soon. :)
July 27th:
Well, I can't believe that I've already been here in Chandler for a whole week! It's gone by so quickly!
My parents and I drove out here from Kansas (I followed my dad in my car the whole way). We left on the 17th and got here last Sunday afternoon. It was a pretty decent drive through lots of desert and flat land. The day before we got to Chandler, however, we had to come down through some mountains. Well, it's monsoon season in Arizona, so they get these weird rainstorms this time of year. As we were driving through the mountains in the rain and hail, my driver's side windshield wiper broke. My parents were driving in front of me, but it was raining so hard that they didn't notice I'd stopped. We were driving down the mountain, so they were very worried about me after awhile. The rain eventually slowed down, they came back up and found me, and we continued driving in the light rain with frequent stops to wipe off the windshield. We got to the next town and a guy happened to still be working at an auto parts store. He graciously fixed my windshield wiper.
I moved in here and got settled last Sunday. I also was able to spend a little bit of time hanging out with Joy and Michael before they left. The rest of the week was spent on staff retreat with all of the staff from the church and school. It was a great way to get to know people and we went through the book, Captivating, which was very good. I got to jump in and lead worship for the retreat, as well as share a little bit during a worship time. We got back on Wednesday evening in time for worship team practice and Thursday was my first day in the office. Friday and Saturday I had off, but Saturday was filled with getting last minute things ready for Sunday worship that kind of got overlooked with the transition between interns. Today was my installation at all 4 services and everything worked out well for the two services I help lead. I almost had to play guitar for one service which really scared me, but they found someone at the last minute. Phew. This evening was my first full evening with the senior high youth and it was cool to start to get to know them. I can tell that they're already becoming at ease around me and vice versa.
When I got here last Sunday, they had a basket of "Arizona necessities" waiting for me on my table from the youth group with a note that said "look in the fridge." I wrote on my bio that I sent to the church, that I like Dr. Pepper and they filled the whole bottom of my fridge with Dr. Pepper...cans, bottles, 2 Ltrs...the works! Amazing! I've been so blessed by people here already.
In other news...it's hot. So hot, but the humidity is considerably less here. No worries, though, I have 2 pools to cool off at. My apartment is awesome and it's already beginning to feel like home with pictures on the walls and such. I have wireless here, so that's really nice. I also recently got texting, so it's my newest hobby. :) All the help I can get with communication is welcomed--the 2 hour time difference is challenging enough. When Daylight Savings comes, however, I'll only be an hour different from Central time. Arizona doesn't do a time change. Amazing! :D
Things are really picking up here, though. I'm already getting into the full swing of things and I know it's only going to keep picking up. It's very exciting to be out here--there's so much going on and it's always growing! Any and all prayers are appreciated! :D
July 27th:
Well, I can't believe that I've already been here in Chandler for a whole week! It's gone by so quickly!
My parents and I drove out here from Kansas (I followed my dad in my car the whole way). We left on the 17th and got here last Sunday afternoon. It was a pretty decent drive through lots of desert and flat land. The day before we got to Chandler, however, we had to come down through some mountains. Well, it's monsoon season in Arizona, so they get these weird rainstorms this time of year. As we were driving through the mountains in the rain and hail, my driver's side windshield wiper broke. My parents were driving in front of me, but it was raining so hard that they didn't notice I'd stopped. We were driving down the mountain, so they were very worried about me after awhile. The rain eventually slowed down, they came back up and found me, and we continued driving in the light rain with frequent stops to wipe off the windshield. We got to the next town and a guy happened to still be working at an auto parts store. He graciously fixed my windshield wiper.
I moved in here and got settled last Sunday. I also was able to spend a little bit of time hanging out with Joy and Michael before they left. The rest of the week was spent on staff retreat with all of the staff from the church and school. It was a great way to get to know people and we went through the book, Captivating, which was very good. I got to jump in and lead worship for the retreat, as well as share a little bit during a worship time. We got back on Wednesday evening in time for worship team practice and Thursday was my first day in the office. Friday and Saturday I had off, but Saturday was filled with getting last minute things ready for Sunday worship that kind of got overlooked with the transition between interns. Today was my installation at all 4 services and everything worked out well for the two services I help lead. I almost had to play guitar for one service which really scared me, but they found someone at the last minute. Phew. This evening was my first full evening with the senior high youth and it was cool to start to get to know them. I can tell that they're already becoming at ease around me and vice versa.
When I got here last Sunday, they had a basket of "Arizona necessities" waiting for me on my table from the youth group with a note that said "look in the fridge." I wrote on my bio that I sent to the church, that I like Dr. Pepper and they filled the whole bottom of my fridge with Dr. Pepper...cans, bottles, 2 Ltrs...the works! Amazing! I've been so blessed by people here already.
In other news...it's hot. So hot, but the humidity is considerably less here. No worries, though, I have 2 pools to cool off at. My apartment is awesome and it's already beginning to feel like home with pictures on the walls and such. I have wireless here, so that's really nice. I also recently got texting, so it's my newest hobby. :) All the help I can get with communication is welcomed--the 2 hour time difference is challenging enough. When Daylight Savings comes, however, I'll only be an hour different from Central time. Arizona doesn't do a time change. Amazing! :D
Things are really picking up here, though. I'm already getting into the full swing of things and I know it's only going to keep picking up. It's very exciting to be out here--there's so much going on and it's always growing! Any and all prayers are appreciated! :D
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Africa, Arizona, CSP, or somewhere in between...
So my last post was about how anxious I was about leaving Concordia. Well, it wasn't easy and I'm still having to say good-bye's along the way, but I'm at home (for almost 2 weeks now) from Africa.
Leaving CSP was crazy. I had finals and just a few days to finish up school work, tie up loose ends for internship, pack for the trip, pack my room and move out (my parents graciously came up to help me out), move all of my residents out, sing for 3 graduatons, have a bon voyage concert, and say lots of good-byes. It was crazy. Ghana seemed calm in comparison.
Anywho..we left on that Sunday after finals and I haven't had my laptop since that Saturday, so my internet access has been sort of limited since. Ghana was amazing. I can't even begin to describe what it was like. I mean, there's so much that I experienced that was way different from anything I ever have experienced before. I've heard so many people say that it's impossible to describe our trip there, but I just keep thinking about it and wanting to share.
Some highlights:
-the worship of Ghanaian Christians--I loved our worship services. They usually lasted several hours, but they were full of the Spirit and full of life. People worshiped with their entire beings. We danced our offerings to the front of the sanctuary at every worship service. I loved the music. I have never had so much fun worshiping our Creator.
-the people--Everywhere we went, people were overjoyed to have us there. They all wanted us to come back later and wanted to do whatever they could for us. We were so different from all of them and stuck out so greatly, but they didn't care. They only wanted us to feel welcome and bent over backwards to do that.
-the children--I got to spend some time playing with some children in a village. I had a blast! It made me realize just how much I love kids. I couldn't even effectively communicate with them, but we had so much fun and I felt like I connected with them. That was so empowering and encouraging to me--I felt greatly affirmed in my career path and calling into ministry. It also made me consider the possibility of mission work.
-the Spirit--I think that sometimes when American Christians think of Africa, we think "mission field." "Those people need to hear about Jesus!" Well, yes, they do, but I'm pretty sure He's already made it to Africa. His Spirit is quite alive there, too. I couldn't believe how Spirit-filled people were there. They are so passionate about prayer and Bible study. Many stores and businesses have Christian names. I got to meet the chaplain of a college choir there that we sang with. It was cool to meet another choir chaplain. She prayed so passionately and told me of their weekly prayer meetings that are just to get together and pray for an hour. She said, "this choir can't operate without two things and those are prayer and being in the Word." I was floored. We can learn a lot from our Ghanaian brothers and sisters.
-time spent with friends--I don't know if you've noticed this, but I love my friends. I had such a good time experiencing the culture of Ghana and all of it's ups and downs with people that I care so deeply about. We had a blast and I'm so glad that I got to spend that intentional time with several people that I won't see again for a long time. It was a sacred time and I was blessed by it. I'm going to miss my CSP crew.
Now, I'm at home in Kansas. It's hot. We don't have the air on. I don't have a job, but I'm helping around the house. I've been keeping busy doing that and I'm looking forward to starting my internship in July. Things keep changing, but I think I'm ready to head out to internship. It's weird now being in between. I'm kind of lonely for my friends and for hanging out with them, but at the same time it's been good to have atleast a little time with my family and some friends from home.
Please pray for me as I try to prepare, mentally, emotionally, financially, socially, and spiritually for this new journey. For now, it's about bed time. People go to bed early around here.
Peace.
Leaving CSP was crazy. I had finals and just a few days to finish up school work, tie up loose ends for internship, pack for the trip, pack my room and move out (my parents graciously came up to help me out), move all of my residents out, sing for 3 graduatons, have a bon voyage concert, and say lots of good-byes. It was crazy. Ghana seemed calm in comparison.
Anywho..we left on that Sunday after finals and I haven't had my laptop since that Saturday, so my internet access has been sort of limited since. Ghana was amazing. I can't even begin to describe what it was like. I mean, there's so much that I experienced that was way different from anything I ever have experienced before. I've heard so many people say that it's impossible to describe our trip there, but I just keep thinking about it and wanting to share.
Some highlights:
-the worship of Ghanaian Christians--I loved our worship services. They usually lasted several hours, but they were full of the Spirit and full of life. People worshiped with their entire beings. We danced our offerings to the front of the sanctuary at every worship service. I loved the music. I have never had so much fun worshiping our Creator.
-the people--Everywhere we went, people were overjoyed to have us there. They all wanted us to come back later and wanted to do whatever they could for us. We were so different from all of them and stuck out so greatly, but they didn't care. They only wanted us to feel welcome and bent over backwards to do that.
-the children--I got to spend some time playing with some children in a village. I had a blast! It made me realize just how much I love kids. I couldn't even effectively communicate with them, but we had so much fun and I felt like I connected with them. That was so empowering and encouraging to me--I felt greatly affirmed in my career path and calling into ministry. It also made me consider the possibility of mission work.
-the Spirit--I think that sometimes when American Christians think of Africa, we think "mission field." "Those people need to hear about Jesus!" Well, yes, they do, but I'm pretty sure He's already made it to Africa. His Spirit is quite alive there, too. I couldn't believe how Spirit-filled people were there. They are so passionate about prayer and Bible study. Many stores and businesses have Christian names. I got to meet the chaplain of a college choir there that we sang with. It was cool to meet another choir chaplain. She prayed so passionately and told me of their weekly prayer meetings that are just to get together and pray for an hour. She said, "this choir can't operate without two things and those are prayer and being in the Word." I was floored. We can learn a lot from our Ghanaian brothers and sisters.
-time spent with friends--I don't know if you've noticed this, but I love my friends. I had such a good time experiencing the culture of Ghana and all of it's ups and downs with people that I care so deeply about. We had a blast and I'm so glad that I got to spend that intentional time with several people that I won't see again for a long time. It was a sacred time and I was blessed by it. I'm going to miss my CSP crew.
Now, I'm at home in Kansas. It's hot. We don't have the air on. I don't have a job, but I'm helping around the house. I've been keeping busy doing that and I'm looking forward to starting my internship in July. Things keep changing, but I think I'm ready to head out to internship. It's weird now being in between. I'm kind of lonely for my friends and for hanging out with them, but at the same time it's been good to have atleast a little time with my family and some friends from home.
Please pray for me as I try to prepare, mentally, emotionally, financially, socially, and spiritually for this new journey. For now, it's about bed time. People go to bed early around here.
Peace.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
...or not, here it comes
So the last thing that I wrote about was how ready I am to leave Concordia for the next year.
It hasn't come quite as easily as I thought it would. It's actually been disgustingly difficult the last couple of days. It's starting to sink in that I won't be coming back here for over a year and when I do, it'll look different, there will be new people, and a lot of the old ones will be gone. The same place, but a very different place all at the same time.
I'm already sick of saying good-bye. Last night I said good-bye to the people at my field work church and I didn't really think it would be that big of deal. I cried...a lot. So did a lot of other people...but it was so hard. That's only the beginning...maybe it'll get easier. I'm not so sure, though, because so many that I love so much are still left to say good-bye to.
Then Africa. It's coming! A few get to journey along with me there but good-byes will have to happen on that trip. That may be even worse. I do think, however, that Africa will be a good transitional piece for me to propel myself forward after CSP. I'm not coming back to the Cities after Ghana until Anna and Adam's wedding. So I think I'll be more calm and settled about the move to AZ by then.
Oh, AZ...so much down time until I get to come to you. I think that is a necessary buffer. I don't think my emotions could handle much more. Or my body for that matter...I'm going to be shot for awhile.
I'll be honest...I'm really going to miss a lot of people. Some of the best people and some of the best friends I've ever had have been from here at Concordia. This chapter of my life is beginning to end. That's hard for me to face the fact that some of these people I won't eat lunch with everyday and study with or get Jamba with. Things slip by so quickly. Live it up--love people, love life.
I saw a cardinal this afternoon. One of my friends is convinced that whenever she sees cardinals it's God's sign and reminder to her that He is present amidst a trying time. Today I was grateful for that cardinal.
It hasn't come quite as easily as I thought it would. It's actually been disgustingly difficult the last couple of days. It's starting to sink in that I won't be coming back here for over a year and when I do, it'll look different, there will be new people, and a lot of the old ones will be gone. The same place, but a very different place all at the same time.
I'm already sick of saying good-bye. Last night I said good-bye to the people at my field work church and I didn't really think it would be that big of deal. I cried...a lot. So did a lot of other people...but it was so hard. That's only the beginning...maybe it'll get easier. I'm not so sure, though, because so many that I love so much are still left to say good-bye to.
Then Africa. It's coming! A few get to journey along with me there but good-byes will have to happen on that trip. That may be even worse. I do think, however, that Africa will be a good transitional piece for me to propel myself forward after CSP. I'm not coming back to the Cities after Ghana until Anna and Adam's wedding. So I think I'll be more calm and settled about the move to AZ by then.
Oh, AZ...so much down time until I get to come to you. I think that is a necessary buffer. I don't think my emotions could handle much more. Or my body for that matter...I'm going to be shot for awhile.
I'll be honest...I'm really going to miss a lot of people. Some of the best people and some of the best friends I've ever had have been from here at Concordia. This chapter of my life is beginning to end. That's hard for me to face the fact that some of these people I won't eat lunch with everyday and study with or get Jamba with. Things slip by so quickly. Live it up--love people, love life.
I saw a cardinal this afternoon. One of my friends is convinced that whenever she sees cardinals it's God's sign and reminder to her that He is present amidst a trying time. Today I was grateful for that cardinal.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
ready.
The year is winding down here at school and it's almost time to say good-bye. I think a change will be really positive for me. For the next year I will be working full time as an intern in a parish hundreds of miles from here.
I have a feeling this is going to be a good change for me. I will get to learn a lot, meet new people, make a new start in a far away place, and serve full time in ministry. I pray that God will watch over me as I try to fit in there, as I try to do my best to serve Him, and as I try to take care of myself and be fed spiritually, socially, mentally, and physically.
I'm tired of feeling like I don't really fit within this puzzle anymore. I think it's because there's another puzzle that has a piece missing for me to fill in.
I pray that God helps to give closure here and healing, while preparing me for what's to come.
I have a feeling this is going to be a good change for me. I will get to learn a lot, meet new people, make a new start in a far away place, and serve full time in ministry. I pray that God will watch over me as I try to fit in there, as I try to do my best to serve Him, and as I try to take care of myself and be fed spiritually, socially, mentally, and physically.
I'm tired of feeling like I don't really fit within this puzzle anymore. I think it's because there's another puzzle that has a piece missing for me to fill in.
I pray that God helps to give closure here and healing, while preparing me for what's to come.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)