Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Truth & Choices.

Why is it that self-doubt can prevail over God's truth time and time again? It's a cyclical struggle for me. It comes over me, the Truth of who God claims me to be defeats the lie, and then it happens all over again. It often happens when I'm in the presence of people who hold the same gifts that I possess. It's a game of comparing and wondering if people would choose them or me if it ever came down to picking. This all goes back to my last entry about being the "est." It's so ingrained in me.

I'm always looking at the greener grass instead of reveling in the Truth God delights in me (Psalm 18:19). I'm just baffled at how easy it is to trade in God's Truth for the cruddy lies that satan sells. My professor last year used to tell us every week that we were beloved children of God. We would laugh because it was just the kind of thing that rolled off after awhile, but really truly letting it sink in and being reminded of the hugeness of that from time to time will blow you away.

Amidst these attitudes, I often have to really stop and just beg God to help me stand on His Truth of who He says I am. It changes everything. Knowing your loved and believing that you're loved are two very different things. Believing that love is something I struggle with, but God is the author and perfecter of my faith and I believe that He is healing me in that area more and more everyday.

Choose. It's a buzz word in the Lutheran realm of theology and doctrine and rightly so. We can't choose God. He chooses us. We can choose to believe. The Holy Spirit leads us to faith. I love a song that's called "the Blessing" Here are the lyrics that I just soak up:

"let it be said of us
that we gave to reach the dying
let it be said of us
by the fruit we leave behind
let it be said of us that our legacy is blessing for life

let it be said of us
that our hearts belonged to Jesus
let it be said of us
that we spoke the words of life
let it be said of us
that our heritage is blessing for life"

My favorite part is "let it be said of us that our hearts belong to Jesus." What a great legacy to leave! The chorus says:

this day you set life, you set death right before us, this day
every blessing and curse is a choice now
and we will choose to be a blessing for life

I never knew how to take that. I mean, with my strong aversion to the word "choose," I didn't really know what to do with the fact that I really like the concept of it. I mean, we do have a choice in the morning to claim God's Truth about who we are and share that joy with others or to buy into the lies and tear people as far down as we feel we are. Well, it just so happened that I heard a Bible verse read and it turns out that this chorus is based directly on a Scripture verse.

Deuteronomy 30:19-20 says:
This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.

Wow. It's in God's Word! I don't think God was speaking here about choosing God or choosing to have faith. He was already talking to the Israelites. It's not a faith choosing thing. They already have faith. It's a statement to the Israelites that is saying this is your choice--to live to the fullest life that God has blessed you with or to call upon yourself curses and pain. When it says "choose life," I don't think God was talking about choosing heaven, but choosing to live the life to the full that He has already given us here on earth. Are we going to build others up or tear them down? Are we going to live asking God why we have to do this or that instead of jumping up and saying "here am I..send me!" This day..He sets life and death before us.

In His presence we have life and life to the full. We are free from who the world tells us we are and from the looming stares of our enemies. We are God's beloved children. People created to be loved. So this day...choose to live in the life giving love, that others might live too.

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